What does your self-care practice do for you?
#selfcareiscool – that was my hashtag when I gave my self-care keynote back in 2020. (You can watch that here!) I still love the hashtag; but I have come to understand self-care for what it does for me, not the things I do that count as self-care.
I’ll explain… I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “know your why” – this phrase has popped up in many parts of my life:
* This can be a key component when you’re goal setting. If you don’t know why you’re ultimately setting a goal, reaching it becomes tougher. In a similar vein, for me, when I was learning to put a sequence together for a yoga class, we needed to examine why we chose the poses and how they potentially interact. My teacher often said “as long as you know your why” you’re ok.
* I’ve participated in quite a few Direct Sales businesses and the “know your why” rhetoric was always in the training: a lot of days, you won’t feel motivated, so you need your why to get you through.
* Even when starting a new exercise/workout routine, knowing your why will help you get up and get to the gym on the days you just don’t feel like it. I have been strength training for just over a year, and I’ve been super consistent – because I know that, at age 46, my body needs to be strong or else the rest of my life might not be so great.
How does this tie-in with self-care then? With the uptick in self-care and caring for your mental health, sometimes self-care can feel like one more thing (ten more things?) to add to your calendar. Another “to do” item to check off of the list. When this happens, self-care loses a bit of its luster. It’s being done so you can check the box, instead of doing it for the reasons that will benefit you.
I’ve chosen to rename my self-care practice to my nervous system regulation practice. Do I actually call it that? No, I do not. ha! Just doesn’t have the same ring to it. But I think about my WHY when practicing self-care. My number one reason for anything I do, that falls into the self-care category, is to regulate my nervous system.
Quick Science lesson:
Autonomic Nervous System: a continuously-working system in or bodies that controls our involuntary bodily functions like heart rate, blood pressure, and digestion. The two main parts of the nervous system:
Sympathetic Nervous System: this is when our fight or flight response is activated. When there is a threat – we’re stressed, in danger, or exerting physical activity – our sympathetic nervous system (SNS) switches on. Our heart & breathing rates increase, our blood vessels constrict, and digestion slows way down. Blood is delivered to the parts of our bodies that need more oxygen. Our body is preparing for physical activity. This is a natural response and often we don’t even notice it happening. IT’S NOT BAD for our SNS to switch on – it’s a protection mechanism built into our DNA. The part where we suffer is when we stay in this response after the “threat” has passed. This can be caused by a number of things – autoimmune disorders, certain medications, trauma, genetic conditions, even some viruses.
Parasympathetic Nervous System: this is our body’s rest & digest response. It’s function is exactly opposite of the SNS – digestion is stimulated, our heart rate slows, our blood vessels are dilated, and our breathing rate returns to normal. When our parasympathetic nervous system (PSN) is activated, this is where healing can happen – physically, energetically, and emotionally. This is where we want to live… when we aren’t feeling any threats. Like I mentioned above, a lot of things – medical & environmental alike – can keep our SNS response active; but when we’re able to activate our Parasympathetic response, that’s where the magic happens.
Living with a constantly active Sympathetic Nervous System can lead to chronic stress, elevated blood pressure, sweating, digestive issues, and heart issues.. and that’s just the beginning. Add in anxiety, irritability, and insomnia. THIS is why my self-care practice is fueled by activating my Parasympathetic Nervous System. That’s my goal for any self-care that I practice.
Now, my self-care practice is not a set-in-stone routine I follow everyday, without fail. My self-care routine involves me checking-in with my body to see what I need that day. Every day is different! But my WHY is my driving force. When I check-in with my body… do I need to feel less overwhelm? Is my heart rate high? Is my breathing normal for me? Are my pupils dilated? Do I feel any pain or stiffness that needs moved out in an integrated way? Am I irritable without a reason?
Some examples of my self-care practices and how they correspond with regulating my nervous system:
Taking a walk – this takes me away from anything I might be working on or overwhelmed with… which lowers my heart rate and allows me to be present with myself as I walk. My heart rate is lowered and overwhelm is also decreased
Sleep – I used to feel guilty for going to bed early (even though I get up around 5am); but now, it’s part of my self-care practice. When I don’t get enough sleep, my brain is foggy which causes anxiety and mood swings. My body cannot keep up which brings feelings of guilt that I’m not able to do enough. Getting the rest I need, even if others don’t understand, is key in regulating my nervous system.
Strength training – I do train 2-3 times per week, and I try not to miss a session unless my body is screaming at me not to go. I’m 46 and perimenopause is kicking my ass most days if I let it. Physical movement helps me move emotions and energy, which keeps me out of the fight or flight response.
Yoga – this practice helps me get out of my mind and into my body. I listen to my body more when practicing yoga. Where do I feel pain or stiffness? Where do I feel lack of flexibility where I normally do not? It’s often my mind that keeps my Sympathetic Nervous System activated. Listening to my body helps me know I’m actually not in danger.
Gratitude – getting in a comfy seat, hand over my heart, I start listing things (usually out loud) I’m grateful for… anything from a cup of tea to people in my life and everything in between. The anxiety I carry in my midsection melts away when I focus on gratitude. Gratitude releases dopamine – the “feel-good” neurotransmitter responsible for joy & contentment.
My eBook, Soul Guided Self Care, launches soon, and we’ll go into a lot of this work. And, a month or so out from the eBook, my live course, of the same name, will be live inside my online community, Joyfully Empowered. Stay tuned for details!
You can sign-up for my newsletter, Chasing Joy, here: https://still-basil-94625.myflodesk.com/oii4no79mo
